Tuesday, July 24, 2012

B****es These Days

You know those bars you see as you're walking down Bourbon Street with the strippers dancing on poles outside and you think, "Who in their right mind would actually be caught dead in one those? Def not me!" Well, Nashville also has a couple of those bars and on Friday, I just so happened to end up with a group that just so happened to want to be caught dead in one. Yay me.

Let me set the scene for you...

I've recently become rather close to a fellow Zeta alum, Aeri, from Pennsylvania. We've been hanging out on a regular basis and wanted to go somewhere and have a good time this weekend. Aeri's coworkers decided to have a going-away dinner/happy hour for one of their own after work at Bar Louie on Friday and Aeri wanted to go. Since she and I were going out afterwards, I decided to tag along and crash the party. I'd been to Bar Louie before (with Aeri) and fully approved: The servers were nice and the crowd was more of the 'Young Professional' type that I appreciate/am a part of. So, of course I wanted to go!

We had a great time at Bar Louie and stayed there for a very long time...mainly because it randomly started pouring down rain for about an hour. Anyway, after the rain stopped, we felt like we'd done enough damage at Bar Louie and we all wanted to go dance somewhere. Our first try was down the road at a place I don't remember the name of, but it was salsa night or something and we wanted club music. So we headed downtown. I'm not sure exactly who's idea it was to go down there, but that's where we ended up.

The bar was called Throwdown and, not only did we go into the bar, we made a straight bee-line for the door! These people knew before we got there that that place was where they wanted to spend their Friday night! This is the type of place I have nightmares about going into. I mean, what was my mother going to think of me if I really did die in this place?!

As soon as we walked into the bar I abandoned whatever feeble hopes I had of meeting a cute guy to dance with/buy me drinks. I could pretty much guarantee that the type of crowd this place attracted was less than desirable. I was right, which was unfortunate because these thugs are usually the first ones to hit on me, and Friday was no different. 

Anyway, we got a drink, which I desperately needed, and headed to the darkest room in the place where the DJ and the dancing was. Okay, so the place wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. Yes, there was a stripper pole, but there were no strippers that I could see. And they were playing good music that I could dance to. Ok, I can work with this.

So, I just started drinking, quit caring, and started dancing. And dancing. And dancing. And sweating. I was so gross by the end of the night, I couldn't believe Sayid from Africa kept trying to dance with me while offering to treat me like an "African Princess." Poor Sayid. I hope he's not still waiting on a phone call from Andrea from Throwdown. But I'm sure he didn't have a problem meeting some other girl (he was quite confident and pushy), so I don't feel that bad.

Some time during the night, I met a girl named Alison that I really clicked with. She was super sweet and there with her boyfriend of 4 years and his mother...yeah, ok, that should've been my first clue, but my inhibitions were gone, remember? Anyway, Alison kept telling me how beautiful I was (as a sweaty, disgusting mess and hair in a bun on top of my head by this point) and taking pictures of us like we were besties already! She was SO sweet! I wanted her number so we could hang out later outside of the bar. She gave it to me and told me to text her later, that her boyfriend had her phone right now and she'd text me back when she got it.

So, I texted her and got an immediate response that the number I sent it to was invalid...INVALID!

Wow! A girl actually gave me the wrong number! A girl! And I'm not even gay! Or a creeper! I suppose that's karma...Can't even meet a good girl friend at the bar!

Bitches these days...

I actually saw Alison at Walmart yesterday as I was picking up some groceries, and I immediately turned my head and pretended to be super interested in what new clothes they had on display. I avoided that awkward situation like a boss.

Bitches these days...


Monday, July 9, 2012

Operation KK: Part Two

After my failed attempt on Friday to capture any kittens, I'd kind of lost all hope of catching them and doing something good for them. However, I set the traps back up anyway and went home for the night. I decided I'd let them sit out overnight and in the morning I'd exchange them for new traps since the ones I had weren't keeping the kittens in them.

Saturday morning I woke up bright and early (9am) to get to the kitten shop by 10. I got to Kacey's around 9:40 and put the first (empty) trap in the car. The trap had been set off and it looked like someone had evaded my capture a second time. Oh well. I figured that would happen. Then I went to get the second trap because I'd begun to lose all hope that I'd be able to catch these kittens.

But then I saw one. In the trap! OMG! I really caught one this time!

I ran back to my car to get the sheet I brought and put it over the cage. The kitten immediately calmed down. Wow! I was so proud of myself! The trap actually worked! Maybe I'll be able to get them after all!

Kittens 1 and 2


So, I had a kitten...now what?

I took it (trap and all - under the sheet) back to my apartment, set up the litter box, food, and water and released it into the bathroom. He had to appreciate the air conditioning! I cleaned out the cage it'd been trapped in and headed back out to exchange the non-working trap at the Cat Shoppe.

Once I got back to Kacey's I set up both the traps. One at each end of the tunnel I'd seen them in. It was upwards of 100 degrees and Kacey was home, so we decided to go sit in her apartment for a little while in case the kittens were watching us and remembering what had just happened to their brother/sister. And if I did catch something, it wouldn't be out there very long.

After about 30 minutes, we went back out to check the traps again and, to my complete and utter surprise, I'd caught another one! Whoa! This is awesome! These traps really do work!

I ran to get the sheet from my car, put it over the cage, left the other trap set, and headed home to release that one with its brother/sister already in my bathroom.

Here, I'll go ahead and mention that I'd left my can opener on the back of my car and didn't realize it until I was pulling into my apartment complex. As I got out of my car, I thought it was great that my mom had bought me two of them because I was never going to see that other one again. But lo and behold, there it was! Still sitting on the back of my car just where I'd left it! This day could not get any better!

After releasing the second kitten into my bathroom, I gave them both about an hour to get acclimated to life on the inside before I went to check on them. They were both huddled up behind the toilet, but the first one I caught absolutely freaked when I came in. He left his bro/sis behind the toilet and ran all over the bathroom trying to find a place to hide (which I did not give them on purpose - they need to get used to me!). He jumped into the trash can, decided that wasn't good enough; jumped into the shower, but I could still see him so that wouldn't work either. Then he jumped onto the toilet (I had previously closed the lid) and onto the bathroom counter where he saw his reflection for the first time. This cat then proceeded to jump into the mirror thinking (I guess) that it was another room he could hide in. However, this being a mirror, he smacked his nose into the glass. Every time. It took him four times before he figured out that wasn't going to work and he needed to find some other place to hide.

Dazed and confused, he finally decided to light in my basket of hair products/lotion. This is where I got to touch him/her for the first time. I'm pretty sure the only reason this was allowed was because he couldn't see straight after the mirror incident. He hasn't let me touch him since.

Anyway, an hour after the suicide attempt, I went to check on the traps again, and guess what?! The 3rd one was in the trap, chillin and waiting on someone to let him out.

Okay, he wasn't 'chillin' per say. He freaked (as expected) when he saw me approaching him with a sheet. So I covered the trap and took him home to be added to the not-so-happy family now residing in my bathroom.

Kittens 2 and 3

Operation KK: Kitten Katchin' Part I

How was my weekend, you ask? Well, I'll tell you! It consisted of mainly two things: catching kittens and kayaking. Seriously.

It all started a few weeks ago when my friend, Kacey, noticed some kittens living in a tunnel in her apartment complex. She took a picture of them and posted it on Facebook and I instantly fell in love with them.


As you can see, they are absolutely gorgeous! We had to save them!

So, on Thursday I got it in my head that I was going to be these kittens' savior. I, with the help of others, would get these kittens out of the heat, vetted, and to a home. I began contacting shelters. Many many shelters. Mostly through email. Most of them said they were full, and most of them refused to take feral cats of any kind because they may not be healthy.

However, after quite a lot of searching, I happened upon a shelter that said they could help with training and vetting feral kittens. Yes! This is the place I'd been looking for! This place was exactly what I needed! I emailed them.

The shelter had been shut down for the summer. Perfect. However, a very nice someone emailed me back and offered to help by forwarding my emails to other shelters/people she knew that might be willing to help. She also had great advice on how to trap the kittens and inexpensive places on where to take them to get shots, etc.

So, all of this emailing and advice got me excited. Thursday, after work I went to Kacey's apartment complex fully intending to bring those kittens to their new (temporary) home. It never occurred to me that if Kacey, who'd been feeding them for weeks, couldn't catch them, then I probably wouldn't be able to either. I bought litter and two cans of wet food to get them to come to me. How could it not work?!

Well, I'll cut to the chase now and tell you that it didn't work. Those kittens wanted absolutely nothing to do with Kacey or me. They ran and hid from us and refused to come out while we were sitting anywhere near them. Not even my smelly, good food could lure them out.

This was going to require more work (and more food). I went home to re-think my strategy.

Friday, after work, I went to the Cat Shoppe where I was told you could rent kitten traps (free - you just leave a collateral of $50 to be returned when you return the traps). So I got two of them and went back to Kacey's apartment complex. The kittens were not outside playing when I pulled into the parking lot. Hmm. Usually they were. So I went to look in their tunnel. It was flooded.

Uh oh. Where in the hell could they have gone? Was this the end of my kitten catching/rescue before it had even begun?

Maybe they didn't go far. I looked in the tunnel close to the other one. A much bigger tunnel that I could easily duck down and walk into. And there went four little kittens running out the other side. Found them!

Now I could commence trapping. I set one trap at the end of the tunnel I saw them running out of and the other one at the other end. And then I went to my car and waited.

I could see them hiding in yet another, smaller tunnel this time. Every now and then they'd peek their heads out, make sure no one was around and come out to play. Then I got an idea. Well, why don't I just put the trap in front of that tunnel? Duh!

So, I did. And it worked. I watched one of those kittens very slowly make his way into that trap, eating the food I'd put in there. Yes! This was going to work! Then I watched him step on the trigger that slammed the door shut behind him. YES!! I CAUGHT ONE!!

I texted Kacey and told her the news, and started walking towards the cage with a sheet to put over the trap to calm him down, all the while the kitten is freaking out, wondering what the hell just happened.

I got close enough to the cage to touch it and all of a sudden, the rattling of the cage stopped. The kitten was gone. What the hell?! How did that happen? After closer inspection, I saw that the trap door hadn't locked when it slammed down and the kitten was able to push his way out again. Great! Stupid trap! Now I'll never catch them! They all just witnessed that screw up. There's no way they'll fall for it again.

So I moved the trap back to the big tunnel where I'd had it before and waited some more. After a couple hours of trying to scare the kittens back out of the smaller tunnel we decided we might as well leave and try again later (by this time, help had arrived in the form of Jennifer, who lives in the complex, and another Jennifer that runs a shelter and offered to take the kittens if/when a spot opens up). So I took my cat food and deflated dreams of being a hero and went home.